After rebooting your router and scouring the internet for advice, you finally resign yourself to dialling the tech support number for Sky broadband. “If you want to cancel your subscription, press 1. If you’re hungry and want to order a pizza, press 2. For a complete history of the Romanov dynasty, press 3. To find out the latest Welsh Premier League scores, press 4. To speak to one of our tech advisors, press 5#=789+546*.”
You frantically press the buttons, desperate to speak to a member of staff. “Thank you. In 1347 boyar Andrei Kobyla was in the service of Semyon I of Moscow…” You throw your phone across the room.
Luckily, we’re kidding, Sky’s helpline is an exception to the rule: the instructions are clear and the advisors friendly. However, it’s usually worth perusing the company’s troubleshooting advice before you call (click here to find out what the coloured lights on the Sky Hub mean), which provides straightforward steps to getting back online.
If the problem persists, or if you would prefer someone else to sort it out, dial Sky’s helpline at 0333 759 3820.
How to get quick tech support on Sky broadband
When I tested the service, “Snowmageddon” was still in full force in the UK so I was greeted with an apologetic recorded message explaining that many of Sky’s call centre staff weren’t able to come into work. Fair enough.
Usually, though, you will be asked for your phone number. If you’d rather not type this in, simply press the hash (#) button twice to get straight through to the voice questions. I know it’s very basic technology for 2018, but I still find voice recognition quite cool – like I’m in Blade Runner or, even better, Knight Rider.
First, you’ll be asked what your problem is (to which you can, for example, reply “broadband not working”), before the robot politely asks you to be more specific and offers a selection of common issues.
After you’ve replied, you’ll be given the standard “calls will be recorded for training purposes” and connected to a real, live human being.
Note that, depending on the availability of staff, you may be put on hold for a while. ‘Twas ever thus.
The brilliant image at the top of this page? Bryce Johnson via Flickr